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Sandpaper Hymn

by Chris DuPont

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1.
Start Again 05:04
I could put my money in an envelope Enough to tide me over till I don’t know when Cut loose of my attachments, all my possessions And start again It may be true that I never learned to love right For my will is half is good as my intent I pray they both forgive me when he is a grown man Start again I could start again, start again Have you forgotten our beginning Reaching for an end to start again I have never faced so steep a valley As the center of the mattress in a wedding bed All of the years of isolation are more than I can stand Start again Said we’d reclaim it all with time and medication There are ordinary reasons for every doubt But if this shit was any good for me I would be better by now Start again Old father, you’re the one they will compare me to With your dozen broken loves, your empty room She told me to get straight with God or end up just like you (When I) start again
2.
What is this feeling, hovering over That follows me to bed The coldest of fingers pressing my lips The fist upon my head Call me a liability from the start I thought that I could bring you more than The sum of our troubled parts Lately I'm keeping just out of reach Of friends who want to help me I know they see me for what I am And have no heart to tell me I am the circularity of my father's speech Flashes of a mother's rage at every water breach If history's nothing more than the tales We choose to tell ourselves Then why've you discarded every page Of things that I did well Have a care what's coming out your mouth Let condescending words be smoothed out If every footfall is jarring our little frames Then who will bend our stooping spines Back to their proper shape Maybe this famine hinges to feast And nourish what has died But you can’t preserve me out in the cold Just 'cause you won't decide Would someone tell me my labor is complete Or give a mathematics for the day to choose defeat I swear to God, I'm learning to shut my mouth That every splintered corner be sanded clean and round
3.
ITAVOS 04:15
My beloved is frightened to death of What she becomes in the cold. So easy, tiger, with consolations. Battering ram at the threshold. I’ll come break you out of the Chelsea. I’ll weave the hardest sell. God damn, when I see you Shrink this small it takes me straight to hell. I lay down my head on the day that you left. There in bed, I took a vow of silence. In the coldest sweat, I lay down and wept. I’m closing in. I took a vow of silence. I keep trying to stall the departure. Somewhere the world’s still green. I pull the teeth from my every intent, but None of the words ever feel clean. I won’t lose you again. I took a vow of silence.
4.
Retrieve 03:59

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released November 19, 2020

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Chris DuPont Ypsilanti, Michigan

Southeast Michigan tunesmith. From anthemic to intimate, Chris' songs marry Americana folk with ambient minimalist orchestration.

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